When Haters Hate
There were times in the past where I lived boldly in what I thought I was called to do and in my gifts. Then the responses came in. Some liked it, but others didn’t. They hated it. It felt like they hated me. Perhaps they did. Those negative voices were louder than the positive ones. I decided to hide.
Now, sometimes I feel as if I can see the gifts God has given me, and I almost have the guts to go out and use them. I dabble. I speculate. It’s a risk.
Bowing down at the idol of people pleasing has become an easy alternative to putting myself out there. Besides, I was also mad at God for letting me get shot down. Hurt that God allowed it to happen to me, I had expected Him to protect me. How could he let me be treated so harshly by His children?
Idols are easier to bow down to once we’ve shoved the true God off his throne.
I even doubted God’s existence because He didn’t keep me from all that pain.
Parents simply can’t protect their children from all pain.. Even if they could, what wimpy little people we would be.
When I have been hurt by a sibling, I didn’t start wondering if my parents existed. However, I can remember times when I was nursing a wound and wondered if my parents loved me. Because in my childish brain, they would smote the sibling that had hurt me. I had trouble seeing that they loved all their children and that we all hurt each other at times. That many times, I had a role in the trouble that had happened too.
I got hurt using my gifts. I’ve had of people decide they know the motives behind my actions, claim that my motives are sin, and then spread that around. They were wrong, but I was devastated.
When it happened, I allowed the Enemy to speak into my life who I was and what my worth was. What he said became more important than the truth, my faith was rocked, and I was easily pushed aside from doing God’s work. That’s where I was wrong.
Questioning the existence of God because of pain is normal, just look at Job. Coming to the conclusion I can hide is pretty normal too, just look at Adam and Eve. But, normal is not ok.
I am missing all that God has for me by flatlining my life.
Zac Allen commented to his wife, Jennie Allen, that “men don’t know what their dreams are and women know, they are just afraid.” I know I’m not alone out there then in hiding from my dreams because of fear: fear of getting hurt again, of finding out that I can’t please everyone.
Playing dead may keep me from getting eaten, and it might not, but it will keep me from any true joy that comes from life.
Let’s put behind us what hinders and run the race set out before us. I’m tired of feeling so dead. Anyone else wanna just say haters gonna hate and move on with me?
For we are his workmanship, having been created in Christ Jesus for good works that God prepared beforehand so we may do them.” Ephesians 2:10, NET
Let’s look to God for our worth, for who we truly are, and for what our good works should be.